Walk in submission…  (4 things)

• 1^st – Submit to one another… vs. 21
  • Paul introduces this next aspect of our walk in Christ with Submission…
    • He is lays out our submission in 3 different categories – Marriage in Ephesians 5:22-33
    • Children in Ephesians 6:1-4 / and with workers in Ephesians 6:5-9…
  • The word Submit is the word Hupotasso – Greek military term…
    • It means the complete subordination of one person to another…
    • The purpose is to prevent chaos within the church / to establish order…
    • Can you imagine if children were the ones who told their parents what to do…
    • Or if a worker could boss around their employer – telling them what to do…
  • God does not work in chaos – God is God of order – He works through structure…
    • I Corinthians 14:33 – “For God is not the author of confusion but of peace…”
    • We are to be respectful of the roles God has placed us in…
    • If we are a child submitting to our parents / if we are a worker submitting to our boss…
    • Including the order that God has established for the marriage relationship…
• 2^nd – The command to the wife… vs. 22-24
  • 1^st – The one command to the wife – ‘submit’ (Present/Middle/Imperative)… vs. 22-23
    • Wives are required to submit to their husbands at all times…
      • God is not saying men are not greater/more important than women…
      • God is a God of order – and just as there is order in Him – and His church…
      • God the Father is the ‘head’ / authority over God the Son – Jesus…
      • God the Son – Jesus – is the ‘head’ / authority over every man – I Corinthians 11:3…
      • Part of that order/structure – is a hierarchy of authority within marriage…
      • You can not have two heads – someone has to be in charge…
      • So God established the man the man as the ‘head’ / authority over a woman…
    • This command does not state the men are greater than women…
      • A wife does not have to submit to ‘men’ only to her ‘husband’….
      • The command is applied strictly within the bounds of a marriage!
      • Galatians 3:28 – “There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male or female. For you are all Christians—you are one in Christ Jesus.”
      • Ultimately we are all equal under God – all sinners saved by the same grace!
      • God assigns positions for each one of us within the body of Christ…
      • WE give those positions value – WE elevate one above another…
      • But God does not say that one position is greater than another – all are equal!
  • 2^nd – Wives are to submit to their husbands as unto the Lord – in all things…  vs. 24
    • The example of submission is the Church submitting to Jesus Christ…
      • We do not tell Jesus what to do – we are completely loyal to His commands!
      • In the same way a wife should be COMPLETELY submissive to her husband…
      • Not that the wife should be a mute – it is a wise man that listens to his wife!
      • In the end it is the responsibility of the husband to decide – and the wife to follow!
      • When a wife submits herself to her husband – she is not ‘trusting him’…
      • She is trusting Jesus – especially if her husband is not making a good choice!
      • If the wife is not submitting to her husband – she in a sense gets in the way…
      • Better to duck and get out of the way – and let God deal with her husband!
    • What if a husband is an unbeliever…
      • All the more a wife should be submissive to her husband…
      • I Peter 3:1 – “Wives be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives…”
      • It may very well be that their Godly example will win their husbands to Jesus!
      • But believer or un-believer there is one very important exception…
      • If a husband asks his wife to do things contrary to the Word of God…
      • In that case a wife must always submit and obey to God first!
    • It is also VERY important to note:
      • This command is for the wife – the husband has nothing to do with it….
      • It is not for the husband to remind his wife – tell her to submit…  
      • Whether or not the wife it submissive is between the wife and the Lord!

• 3^rd – The command to the husband…  vs. 25-31
  • 1^st – The one command to the Husband – ‘Love’ (Present/Active/Imperative)… vs. 25
    • We have only one word in our language for love – the Greek (NT language) has 4!
      • We love God – we our family – we love letson – same word / different meanings…
      • The Bible separates these meaning by 4 different words…
      • 1^st – Eros – sexual love – the only kind of love never mentioned in the Bible…
      • 2^nd – Storge – family love – Romans 12:10 – the love of a sibling / parent / relative
      • 3^rd – Phileo – brotherly love / friendship – used 25 times in the NT
      • 4^th – Agape – perfect love – sacrificial love – used over 200 times in the NT!
      • Agape is most often used to describe God’s Love – I John 4:8 – “God is love [agape]…”
      • The definition of Agape is laid out in detail in Paul’s first Epistle to Corinth…
      • I Corinthians 13:4-8 – “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud, or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Love will last forever.”
      • This is the Love husbands are required to ALWAYS to have for their wives!
    • Husbands LOVE your wives as Christ loves the church…
      • Think of how much Jesus loves us – how much He has done for us…
      • He never gets irritated with us / never holds a grudge against us…
      • Jesus expects nothing from us – He simple desires to give everything to us!
    • Jesus gave Himself for the church (speaking of the cross)….
      • Mark 14:35-36 – “[Jesus] went a little farther, and fell on the ground, and prayed that if it were possible, the hour might pass from Him.   And He said, ‘Abba, Father, all things are possible for You. Take this cup away from Me; nevertheless, not what I will, but what You will.’”
      • Jesus did not want to go the cross – did not want to suffer for ‘His bride’…
      • Yet it was His bride (us) who put Jesus on the cross – we drove the nails in His hand!
      • We are called to love our wives – no matter what they say or do… 
      • Even if they are the ones who are driving the nails into our hands!
  • 2^nd – Which comes first – submissions or love…
    • God knows what men need the most in a marriage – to be respected…
      • Husbands need to know that their wives support them in their decisions…
      • When a wife challenges her husband – he feels like he has been undermined…
      • He becomes cold / stubborn / in an effort to reinforce his authority…
    • Husbands – God knows what your wives need the most – Love…
      • Wives need to know that they are loved supremely – that they are secure…
      • Men – we are taught from our youth that are one purpose is to provide…
      • But that is not true – God is the one who provides for our family – not us!
      • The one thing our wives need is the Love of Jesus from us!
      • When we do not daily show our wives Jesus’ love – they begins to feel insecure…
      • And then they begin to challenge us because they are insecure in our love!
    • So often we base our response on what our spouse does…
      • If my wife submits – I will love her / If my husband loves – I will submit to him…
      • But the commands God gives are not based on what the other person does…
      • We are called to Love / Submit regardless of what our spouse does!
  • 3^rd – How can a husband love his wife unconditionally… vs. 26-27
    • Jesus washes us in the water of the Word – so that we might be clean…
      • In the same way we need to wash our wife in the water of the Word…
      • It is so important for a husband to read with his wife…
      • It is impossible for a wife to submit to her (flawed) husband…
      • It is impossible for a husband to love (perfectly) his imperfect wife…
    • Marriage cannot be based on feelings / attraction / or even commitment…
      • These things are not consistent – because we are not consistent…
      • The only consistent thing we can build a marriage on – Jesus…
      • Hebrews 13:8 – “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.”
        
    • That is why it so important to spend time in the Word…
      • When a husband and wife read and pray together – they will have a great marriage… 
      • Then the Husband will be able to love his wife – not with his conditional love…
      • But with the unconditional love that flows through him from Jesus!
      • Then the wife will easily be able to submit to the love of Christ in her husband!
      • Then you have an unshakable marriage founded on Jesus!
  • 4^th – Love your wife like your own body… vs. 28-30
    • Just as the love the church – which is His body – I Corinthians 12:27
      • So also we should love our wives as we love our own bodies…
      • Because we do not hate our body – we do everything we can to take care of it…
      • If we are hungry – we eat / if we are thirsty – we drink / we take care of ourselves…
      • In the same way we should do everything to take care of our wives!
    • It is worth noting how many verses are dedicated to the husband…
      • The one command to the wife is laid out in three simple verses…
      • The one command to the husband takes six verses to explain (twice as many)!
      • The reason is because the husband has FAR MORE responsibility in a marriage…
      • God has entrusted our family into our care – it is a GREAT responsibility…
      • It is sad that most men do not take the lead and bringing their family to Jesus!
      • We men set the pace for our households – what we do – they will follow after!

But if we are full of Jesus – then we will see Jesus reflected in our wives!!

4^th – The great mystery…  vs. 31-33

THE great mystery concerning Christ and the church…

God’s plan for marriage has always been for ONE man and ONE woman – Genesis 1:27

A relationship that was meant to last for a lifetime – ‘two united as one’…

Because marriage is meant to be a picture to help us understand the love of God…

Marriage has an impact on our understanding of the Love of God…

Marriage has an impact on our children’s understanding of the Love of God…

That is why satan takes such an effort in destroying marriage….

If the marriage is destroyed – you damage the understanding of the Love of God….

Husbands – the greatest gift you could ever give to your children is to love your wife…

It is through your love and example that your children learn about the Love of GOd!

Paul closes by repeating the command – Husbands Love…

Husbands love (agape) your wives – Present/Active/Imperative

Wives respect (phobeo) your husbands – Present/Passive/Subjunctive

Husbands are commanded to love their wives

Wives are not commanded here to love their husbands…

This does not negate the command given to the wives in verse 22

As a husband loves his wife – the wife responds to him / reflects her husband…

If you look in the mirror and do not like what you see – it is not the mirror’s fault…

In the same way if we do not like what we see in our wives – they are just a mirror!