How to treat people in the church… (4 points)

• 1^st – We are a family… vs. 1-2
  • Paul now moves on to the final of four topics…
    • He has given Timothy three lessons – Teach the Word / Grace / Prayer…
      • He has defined three roles – Women / Pastors / Deacons…
      • He showed exhorted Timothy on the need to DEFEND the FAITH!
    • He now spends chapter 5-6 – talking about relationship within the church…
      • It should come as no surprise the church is made up of a DIVERSITY of people…
      • There are old people / young people – men / women – married / single – rich / poor…
      • Jesus came to save people from all walks of life – and all of them are in His church…
      • And his desire is that we all come together in UNITY – as a FAMILY!
      • Because only when we have UNITY – are we an example of Jesus to a LOST world!
      • John 17:21 – “That they also may be one in Us, that the world may believe You sent Me.”
  • 1^st – OLDER MEN like fathers… vs. 1
    • OLDER MAN – Presbyteros – in context referring to ELDERLY men in the church…
      • It seems we always tend to think of OLDER MEN – as people who are older than we are…
      • No matter how old I get – I never think I am old – old is people older than I am!
      • The typical definition for OLDER MAN – is those who have already raised their children…
      • In other words – if they have grandchildren – then chances they are an OLDER MAN!
    • Do not REBUKE…
      • REBUKE – only here NT – to strike or beat upon – figuratively with our words…
      • This does NOT mean we are to IGNORE the sin of others!
      • There is a tendency in our culture – to avoid confrontation…
      • If someone does something wrong – the accepted response it to IGNORE it / them…
      • As if somehow time will miraculously make everything OK!
      • Sin is devastating – if we refuse to repent of our sin – it will harden our hearts…
      • The danger is we end up rejecting God – prefer to live on in our sin – Hebrews 3:13
      • If there is sin – there MUST be correction – caring for someone does not mean ignoring sin!
      • Sin destroys lives – how loving is it to let someone destroy themselves!
      • Proverbs 27:6 -“Faithful are the wounds of a friend… “
    • EXHORT them like a Father…
      • EXHORT – parakaleō – we are to come alongside them like we would our own Dad!
      • When I was growing up – you never talked back to your dad…
      • Even if he was wrong – you were very careful how told him!
      • If we are not careful rather than helping an OLDER MAN – we will offend them…
      • Not that we do not CONFRONT sin – but we do it respectfully!
  • 2^nd – YOUNGER MEN like bothers… vs. 1
    • YOUNGER MEN – neos – meaning newborn or youthful – possibly referring to their salvation…
    • It is easy to dismiss the YOUNGER MEN in the church – think they do not know anything!
    • But recall Paul commanded – do NOT despise youth – I Timothy 4:12
    • We are to treat the YOUNGER MEN – as brothers / equals…
    • What they lack in experience – they often make up for in passion and excitement…
    • And the YOUNGER MEN might just surprise us with wisdom God has given to them!
  • 3^rd – OLDER WOMEN like mothers… vs. 2
    • OLDER WOMEN – Presbyteras – in context referring to ELDERLY women in the church…
      • Now you might ask – who qualifies as an – OLDER WOMAN…
      • The simple answer is – I would rather not say – or even ask…
      • Because if you ever tell a woman she is old – you may not live to regret it!
    • Treat them as MOTHERS…
      • Just as with the MEN – we should ALWAYS show respect to the OLDER WOMEN…
      • We are to TREAT them like we would our own MOTHER…
      • What does the Bible say about how we are to TREAT our MOTHER…
      • Exodus 20:12 – “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long…”
      • I have noted more and more young people today think they know it all…
      • They have GOOGLE and YOUTUBE – and believe KNOWLEDGE gives them all the answers…
      • But KNOWLEDGE and WISDOM are NOT the same – WISDOM comes with experience!
      • KNOLEDGE says fire is hot – WISDOM says it is a good idea NOT to touch it!
      • We are to HONOR the OLDER WOMEN in the church – because they have WISDOM…
      • Those who have lived more years on this earth – have learned a thing or two…
      • We are WISE to listen to and learn from their experience!
  • 4^th – YOUNGER WOMEN like sisters…vs. 2
    • YOUNGER WOMEN – neoteras – referring to the young ladies / possibly new believers…
      • Paul here specifically gives the command to interact with them in ALL PURITY…
      • It would seem CONTEXT here is referring to avoiding sexual sin!
    • PURITY – from the root word for HOLY!
      • I Thessalonians 4:3 – “This is the will of God, your [holiness]… that you should abstain from sexual immorality…”
      • Men are NOT to treat the young ladies in the church in a disrespectful manner…
      • Guard their eyes – NOT look at women in a lustful way – Matthew 5:28
      • Guard their actions – NOT get involved just to get close to the YOUNGER LADIES…
      • Go to church with a motive is to try and get a date – not to serve the Lord…
      • Instead treat the YOUNGER WOMEN as sisters – with ALL PURITY – no ulterior motives!

• 2^nd – Widows in the church… vs. 3 / 5-7 / 9-10
  • 1^st – WIDOWS… vs. 3
    • WIDOWS – used 8x just in this passage – a woman who has lost her husband…
    • The Bible has quite a LOT to say about WIDOWS!
    • Deuteronomy 10:18 – God loves WIDOWS and makes sure they receive justice…
    • Deuteronomy 24:19 – God provided for WIDOWS – part of the harvest was left for them…
    • Matthew 23:14 – God judged the religious leaders for stealing from the WIDOWS …
    • Mark 12:43 – A WIDOW gave more to the Lord – mite – more than all rulers of Israel…
    • Acts 6:1 – The first church made sure to provide for the needs of the WIDOWS …
    • James 1:27 – Pure religion is visiting the orphans and WIDOWS!
    • The point simply being the Lord cares about the widows in the church…
    • So here Paul is going to give instruction for how to take care of widows!
  • 2^nd – HONOR those who are REALLY widows… vs. 3 / 5-7
    • HONOR (present imperative) – timao – to give value or importance…
      • Paul is commanding financial provision – HONORING them by providing for them!
      • NOTE – only those who are REALLY widows – meaning not all widows are eligible…
      • You would assume there would only be ONE definition – death of a husband…
      • But the church in ONLY to provide for a TRUE widow – defined by FIVE things!
    • 1 – LEFT ALONE…
      • LEFT ALONE (perfect passive) – monos – a TRUE widow is solitary or forsaken…
      • This is NOT speaking of divorce (passive) but someone who has LOST her family…
      • Meaning she has no family – children or grandchildren – to take care of her!
      • Paul will go into more detail on this in verses 4 and 8!
    • 2 – TRUSTS in God…
• TRUST (perfect) – a TRUE widow puts her HOPE in Jesus…

• A true widow is one who always trust in the Lord to take care of her…
• In other words she is not always ASKING for the church to help her…
• She does not walk around in rags – to show people how poor she is…
• Instead her confidence is in the Lord – and she trusts in Him to provide!
• 3 – CONTINUES in PRAYER night and day…
  • CONTINUES (present indicative) – prosmenō – to ABIDE in – constantly be doing…

• SUPPLICATIONS – praying for the needs of others…
• PRAYERS – 37x in NT – having a conversation with God…

• A TRUE widow is one who constantly takes the time to pray to the Lord!
• An older widow does not have a lot to offer practically to the church…
• She is not going to climb up on a ladder and paint the church…
• She does not have a lot of money to give to help provide for others…
• But what she can do is dedicate herself to praying for the saints!
• My grandmother was a widow – and she lived with my family since I was a baby…
• Every day she would set aside time to pray – for her grandkids / for the church…
• One reason why God has blessed my life – is the prayers of my grandma!

• 4 – Does NOT live for pleasure…
  • PLEASURE – 2x in NT – to desire to live in luxury…
  • The church is NOT to help a widow who lives for pleasure – things of this world…
  • She is wasting her time – she is spiritually dead – she is not a TRUE widow…
  • A TRUE widow dedicates her life to serving the Lord – following God!
  • If we only live for momentary pleasure – we are spiritually dead – we miss out on TRUE life…
  • God created for an incredible purpose – to know Him – Deuteronomy 6:4-5
  • If we settle for just food / sleep / pleasure – we miss out on the true purpose of life!
• 5 – BLAMELESS before the Lord…
  • Paul commanded – parangellō – these things so the WIDOWS may be (subjunctive) …
• BLAMELESS – 3x in NT – does not mean perfect – but that she cannot be accused!

• A widow who is ALONE / TRUSTS in the Lord / night and day PRAYS to the Lord…
• A widow who does NOT live for this world – will be BLAMELESS before the Lord…
• And that kind of a widow – is someone the church should take care of!
• 3^rd – PROVIDING for widows… vs. 9-10
  • Let NOT a widow be…
    • TAKEN INTO THE NUMNBER – only here NT – put on the list / enrolled…
    • Having DEFINED who was a REAL widow…
    • Paul three gives additional QUALIFICATIONS – who can be supported as a widow!
    • If you want to receive support from the government – you first have to qualify…
    • In the same way God gave qualifications for receiving support from the church…
    • A check off list for TRUE widows – to see if they could receive help from the church!
  • 1 – Under 60 years old…
    • A qualified widow could not by under the age of 60…
    • God did not want any YOUNGER WOMEN to be provided for by the church…
    • The reason for that we will look at more in verse 11-16…
    • The good news is – the Bible says that anyone under 60 is still young!
  • 2 – Wife of ONE man…
    • A qualified widow was someone who was married to ONE man…
    • That does not mean that she could not have been married more than once!
    • The famous Christian author Elizabeth Eliot – was married 3 times…
    • Her first husband was killed by natives in Ecuador / the second died of cancer…
    • But she was certainly a godly woman deserving of the care of the church!
    • It means she had a husband – a widow by definition was at one time married…
    • Meaning a woman who was never married – does not qualify…
    • The likely reason is a girl who never married – learned to take care of herself…
    • But a married woman was used to be taken care of by her husband…
    • And with his passing – she is ill-prepared to provide without his help!
  • 3 – Reported for GOOD WORKS…
    • REPORTED – martyreō – her testimony reveals GOOD – kalos (external) – WORKS…
    • A qualified widow must be known everyone by her actions – seen in five ways!
    • NOTE – there are five apparent IF question – all first class – should be SINCE!
    • 1 – SINCE she brought up her own children – presumably to love and follow the Lord…
    • 2 – SINCE she lodged strangers – provided for those who were in need…
    • 3 – SINCE she washed the feet of the saints – she served in the church – helping out…
    • 4 – SINCE she relieved the afflicted – visited those who were in the hospital…
    • 5 – SINCE she has diligently followed every GOOD – agathos (internal) – work…
    • Then because of her heart to be a blessing – the church will want to bless her!
    • Acts 9 – Tabitha – presumably a widow – was always serving in the church…
    • She is only woman in the Bible who is given the title – a disciple of Jesus…
    • She did many Good works – faithfully served the saints there in Joppa…
    • Helping out the poor – she even knitted clothes for all the women…
    • The result was Tabitha got sick (died) – the church was willing to do EVERYTING for her!
    • We often look for others to take care of our needs / but there is no connection…
    • It is ONLY when we care for others – that they then in turn want to care for us!

• 3^rd – The responsibility of family… vs. 4 / 8
  • 1^st – If any WIDOW has children / or grandchildren (any descendant) … vs. 8
    • Let them learn (present imperative) PIETY at home…
      • PIETY – 2x in NT – meaning to show reverence or RESPECT…
      • How do they show RESPECT – by REPAYING their parents!
      • It is the responsibility of the kids / grandkids – to take care of their parents…
      • When they grow old – and need help – we are to provide for them!
      • We are commanded to take care of them – because we owe them…
      • Mom spend the better part of 20+ years taking care of all our needs…
      • Changing our diapers when you are young / cooking / and cleaning our clothes…
      • The very least we can do is take care of them when they grow old!
    • This is GOOD – kalos – and acceptable before God…
      • When my mother passed away – leaving my father a widower…
      • There was discussion about putting him into a nursing home…
      • Instead he came and lived here with us – we are commanded to care for their parents!
      • We are to care for our parents – because it pleases God…
      • The fifth command of God – Honor your Father and Mother – Exodus 20:12
      • Part of honoring our father and mother includes caring for them when older!
  • 2^nd – If anyone does NOT provide… vs. 8
    • Children who do not provide (present) for their parents…
      • Have DENIED (perfect indicative) the FAITH – their actions show they do NOT know Jesus…
      • Are WORSE than an UNBELIEVER – speaking of their moral character!
      • People who do NOT know Jesus take care of their aging parents…
      • How much more should we are believers take care of our Dad and Moms…
      • If we ignore our parents – what kind of witness to the world can we be!
    • People always seem to have an excuse why they cannot help…
      • Mark 10:11-12 – “The Pharisees said it is all right for people to say to their parents, ‘I cannot help you. For I have vowed to give to God what I could have given to you.’”
      • Rather than taking care of their parents by providing for them…
      • The religious leaders taught people could instead give the money to God…
      • If it was given to the church – then they had no obligation to their parents!
      • Jesus rebuked them – because it voided the command of God – Mark 15:6
    • There is no excuse not to take care of family…
      • We cannot say we have no money – because God will provide for our needs…
      • We cannot say they do not deserve our help – we owe them our lives…
      • Bottom line – as believers in Jesus we MUST take care of our parents!

If someone in the church has no one to help – then we are their FAMILY!

4^th – Younger widows… vs. 11-16

YOUNGER widows… vs. 11

Paul concludes his instructions – by discussing YOUNGER WIDOWS (under 60) …

They were NOT to be included in the support of the church – four reasons!

1^st – They begin to grow WANTON… vs. 11-12

WATON (subjunctive) against Christ – only here NT – to desire the intimacy of marriage…

They will get married – and be CONDEMNED – because they cast off their first FAITH!

Being a WIDOW supported by the church – is a commitment to WORK for Jesus!

But YOUNG WIDOWS still have the desire for a house / a family / child…

So rather than serving the Lord / praying for the saints…

They will grow rebellious and bitter towards the church – perhaps even leave the faith!

2^nd – They LEARN to be IDLE… vs. 13

LEARN – manthanō – to learn by experience and practice / IDLE – to be lazy…

Young widows may not use their time wisely…

If the church supports a young widow – it means she will NOT have to work…

The result will be she will have too much time on her hands!

She will WANDER – from house to house – being GOSSIPS and BUSYBODIES…

GOSSIPS – only here NT – doing silly things – babbling – talking when they should not…

BUSYBODIES – 2x in NT – busy about unimportant things – ignoring the important ones!

II Thessalonians 3:11 – “Some of you are living idle lives, refusing to work and wasting time meddling in other people’s business…”

Rather than serving the Lord she might wander around and become the church gossip!

3^rd – THEREFORE – I desire the YONGER WIDOWS marry… vs. 14-15

There was no reason for them to remain WIDOWS – they should remarry…

Have children – because they still long to have a family…

Manage the house – only here NT – employed as the manager of the household…

So they would be busy – rather than having too much time on their hands!

There is a stigma in the culture that says a widow should not remarry…

But God never intended us to be alone in this life – it is normal to want a husband…

If a widow is under the age of 60 – the Bible says they should remarry – in the Lord!

I Corinthians 7:39 – “If her husband dies, she is free to remarry… in the Lord.”

Give no opportunity to the ADVERSARY…

THE ADVERSARY – satan – who would like to bring reproach against the church…

Some YOUNG WIDOWS had already turned aside after him…

The implication is they became GOSSIPS and BUSYBODIES – causing division!

4^th – The church can support TRUE widows… vs. 16

If any believing family has a WIDOW – let them provide (imperative) of her…

So that the church has the resources to take care of the TRUE older widows!

The point of which is simple – we are called to CARE for ONE ANOTHER…

If we have FAMILY that needs help – we are to CARE for them…