Personal relationships… (3 things)

• 1^st – Marriage…  vs. 18-19
  • Paul sums up all that you ever need to know about marriage in two verses…
    • The world has volumes of books available on how to have a good marriage…
    • There are full time counselors who make a living dealing with marriage problems…
    • But it turns out marriage is VERY simple – there are only two commands!
  • 1^st – The one command to the wife – ‘submit’ (Present/Middle/Imperative)… vs. 18
    • The word Submit is the word Hupotasso – Greek military term…
      • It means the complete subordination of one person to another…
      • The purpose is to prevent chaos within the church / to establish order…
      • Can you imagine if children were the ones who told their parents what to do…
      • Or if a worker could boss around their employer – telling them what to do…
    • Wives are required to submit to their husbands at all times…
      • A wife does not have to submit to ‘men’ only to her ‘husband’….
      • The command is applied strictly within the bounds of a marriage!
      • You cannot have two heads – someone has to be in charge…
      • God established the man the man as the ‘head’ / authority over a woman…
      • But God does not say that one position is greater than another – all are equal!
      • WE give those positions value – WE elevate one above another…
    • Wives are to submit to their husbands as unto the Lord – Ephesians 5:24…
      • The example of submission is the Church submitting to Jesus Christ…
      • We do not tell Jesus what to do – we are completely loyal to His commands!
      • In the same way a wife should be COMPLETELY submissive to her husband…
      • Not that the wife should be a mute – it is a wise man that listens to his wife!
      • In the end it is the responsibility of the husband to decide – and the wife to follow!
      • When a wife submits herself to her husband – she is not ‘trusting him’…
      • She is trusting Jesus – especially if her husband is not making a good choice!
      • If the wife is not submitting to her husband – she in a sense gets in the way…
      • Better to duck and get out of the way – and let God deal with her husband!
    • What if a husband is an unbeliever…
      • All the more a wife should be submissive to her husband…
      • I Peter 3:1 – “Wives be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives…”
      • It may very well be that their Godly example will win their husbands to Jesus!
      • But believer or un-believer there is one very important exception…
      • If a husband asks his wife to do things contrary to the Word of God…
      • In that case a wife must always submit and obey to God first!
    • It is also VERY important to note:
      • This command is for the wife – the husband has nothing to do with it….
      • It is not for the husband to remind his wife – tell her to submit…  
      • Whether or not the wife it submissive is between the wife and the Lord!
  • 2^nd – The one command to the Husband – ‘Love’ (Present/Active/Imperative)… vs.19
    • Love – ‘Agape’ used to descried the love of God – I John 4:8…
      • I Corinthians 13:4-8 – “Love is patient and kind… Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged.”
      • This is the Love husbands are required to ALWAYS to have for their wives!
    • Husbands LOVE your wives as Christ loves the church – Ephesians 5:25…
      • Think of how much Jesus loves us – how much He has done for us…
      • He never gets irritated with us / is never BITTER against us…
      • Jesus expects nothing from us – He simple desires to give everything to us!
      • Jesus gave Himself for the church (speaking of the cross)….
      • We may be willing to die for our wives – but are we willing to live for our wives…
      • Are we willing to sacrifice – do the dishes / wash the laundry / watch the kids…
      • Show them practically how much we unconditionally love them!
    • Husbands are to read the Word to their wives Ephesians 5:26-27…
      • When a husband and wife read and pray together – they will have a great marriage… 
      • Then the Husband will be able to love his wife – not with his conditional love…
      • But with the unconditional love that flows through him from Jesus!
      • Then the wife will easily be able to submit to the love of Christ in her husband!
      • Then you have an unshakable marriage founded on Jesus!
    • A wife is a reflection of her husband – Ephesians 5:33…
      • As a husband loves his wife – the wife responds to him / reflects her husband…
      • If you look in the mirror and do not like what you see – it is not the mirror’s fault…
      • In the same way if we do not like what we see in our wives – they are just a mirror!
      • But if we are full of Jesus – then we will see Jesus reflected in our wives
  • 3^rd – Husbands do not be bitter…
    • God knows what men need the most in a marriage – to be respected…
      • Husbands need to know that their wives support them in their decisions…
      • When a wife challenges her husband – he feels like he has been undermined…
      • He becomes bitter / stubborn / in an effort to reinforce his authority…
    • Husbands – God knows what your wives need the most – Love…
      • Wives need to know that they are loved supremely – that they are secure…
      • Men – we are taught from our youth that are one purpose is to provide…
      • But that is not true – God is the one who provides for our family – not us!
      • The one thing our wives need is the Love of Jesus from us!
      • When we do not daily show our wives Jesus’ love – they begins to feel insecure…
      • And then they begin to challenge us because they are insecure in our love!
    • So often we base our response on what our spouse does…
      • If my wife submits – I will love her / If my husband loves – I will submit to him…
      • But the commands God gives are not based on what the other person does…
      • We are called to Love / Submit regardless of what our spouse does!
        
• 2^nd – Families…  vs. 20-21
  • 1^st – Children obey (listen to and learn) your parents in all things… vs. 20
    • This does not necessarily mean your biological parents…
    • It is referring to spiritual parents – those who instruct you in faith – Hebrews 13:7…
    • Because they instruct us in what is right – how to have a relationship with Jesus…
    • We are to listen intently to our parents in faith – they point us to Jesus…
    • By following their words and example we find we are on the path of righteousness
  • 2^nd – Fathers do not provoke your children… vs. 21
    • So often Dad’s want to lay down the Law for their children – and discourage them…
      • We tell them what to do and what not to do – force them to do what is right…
      • But by laying down the Law – we provoke our children – inspire them to rebel…
      • The Law only stirs in us the desire for sin – sin that leads to judgment/death…
      • When I was about 4 – I was grounded and told I could not go outside…
      • But I saw an ice cream truck passing by – so I broke my little piggy bank…
      • And snuck outside and bought myself some delicious ice-cream…
      • Why is it the moment we are given a ‘rule’ / ‘law’ we want to disobey it…
      • Because we are sinners – and the Law ‘stirs’ up our sinful desires…
      • Children do not need LOTS of rules – they need to learn about Jesus!
    • That does not mean fathers should not disciple their kids…
      • Children who have no discipline – as they get older tend to become troubled youth…
      • Children need to learn the consequences of actions – learn obedience…
      • Proverbs 22:15 – “Sin is in the heart of a child; the rod will drive it far from him.”
      • But make sure when you have to disciple your children – do it in love…
    • Train up your children – Ephesians 6:4
      • We understand the need to teach our kids about life…
      • We show them how to use a hammer / how to swim / how to burp…
      • But it is also the responsibility of the Dad to teach the kids about Jesus!
      • Too often fathers forget that they are to be the spiritual leaders of their home…
      • Take the time to read the Bible with your children / pray with them…
      • If we do not teach our kids to have a relationship with Jesus – who will…
        
• 3^rd – Work…  vs. 22-4:1
  • Workers – obey (listen to and learn) your employers in all things… vs. 22-25
    • Ever since Adam we have made a living from the sweat of our brow – Genesis 3:19
      • And most of us have an employer / boss we have to answer to…
      • We might think we know better than our boss – but we are still the worker…
      • And even if we do not agree – we need to listen to their instructions – and obey…
      • Do not give your opinion (unless it is asked for) – do not give an attitude…
      • Because if they want to – they can fire us – and we will no longer have a job!

• Even your employer is a jerk – and treats you terribly – do what they say…
  • I Peter 2:18 – “Do whatever they tell you – not only if they are kind and reasonable, but even if they are harsh.”
  • Because it might just be your example that leads them to Jesus Christ!
• Work hard – and not just working hard when the boss is watching…
  • There are many people who work hard – so long as the boss is near by…
  • The moment the boss walks away – they assume it is break time till the boss returns…
  • I have worked for other people / and I have been in charge of workers…
  • A boss knows who the good workers are – and who just works for show…
  • If the boss comes back after an hour – and you are busy – but not much has been done…
  • The true test of a character is not what you do when people are watching…
  • It is what you do when no one is looking – that is who you really are!
• Work as though it was Jesus who was your boss…
  • If Jesus were the one who hired you to work – and was there watching you…
  • How hard would you work – trying to ‘please THE BOSS’ with you best effort…
  • So if your boss tells you to scrub a toilet – scrub that toilet for Jesus…
  • And do not murmur and complain the whole time – cursing him under your breath…
  • Do it with joy – do it with the best possible effort – do the job right…
  • Because no matter what our work – we should do it like it we were doing it for Jesus…
• Work for the reward…
  • If we work hard – at the end of the week we will get paid…
    • We might not love the work we are doing – we may not even like our boss…
    • But if we work faithfully we will be rewarded with a paycheck!
  • In the same way the Lord rewards us for our good work…
    • The work we do here has a small reward – we get a payday every week…
    • But the money we did receive did not even last very long – we had to work again…
    • How much better to work for the Lord – and get an eternal / everlasting reward!
    • I Corinthians 2:9 – “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love Him.”
• 2^nd – Employers – be good to your workers…
  • In the work place – the boss is the one who tells everyone else what to do…
    • But that does not mean the boss is ‘god’ – and can do whatever he wants…
    • A boss that screams / yell / cusses will quickly find he has no more employees!
    • Instead a boss should be considerate of his employees – taking good care of them…
    • It is just good for business – a happy employee is a productive employee!
  • Employers – remember you have a master in heaven – He has no favorites…

And He freely gives to us all the same hope of salvation through Jesus Christ!

Those in power can have the tendency to think of ourselves as better than others…

Those who have money / power / influence – seek to rule harshly over others…

There is no cutting in line with God – there are no special perks…

Romans 2:11 – “For God does not show favoritism.”

It does not matter if you are rich/poor – employer/employee – Galatians 3:28

God does not hold any one person higher than another – we are all just sinners!