To those who are married (2 things)

• 1^st – Do not get divorced… vs. 10-11
  • This was not Paul’s command – it was from Jesus – Matthew 19:3-9 / Mark 10:1-9…
    • Jesus was challenged on the subject of divorce…
      • The Religious leaders came to Jesus again to test Him…
      • ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife’ – ‘for ANY reason’…
      • There was a debate was over the lawful (God’s Law) reasons for divorce…
      • Conservative (unpopular) a man could only divorce his wife in the case of adultery
      • Liberal (very popular) a man could divorce his wife for any reason…
      • If he found a prettier woman that he wanted to marry / if his wife burnt his rice… 
    • They added – ‘Moses allowed for a certificate of Divorce’ – Deuteronomy 24:1
      • Moses – the Law – did allow for a man to divorce his wife…
      • Not only that – the Law did not specify for what reasons Divorce was allowed…
      • It left the question of ‘reason’ unanswered – and open to interpretation…
  • The only reason for Divorce…
    • 1^st – Death – If your spouse dies you are free to remarry…
      • Romans 7:2 – “The woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law…”
      • Note – you are not allowed to kill your spouse so you can remarry…
    • 2^nd – The only reason Jesus gives for divorce – sexually immorality – adultery…
      • Adultery is any physical relationship outside the covenant of marriage…
      • Why only adultery – it’s a violation of trust that is almost impossible to overcome…
      • Yet even with adultery there is hope – Jesus can still restore a shattered marriage…
      • I know amazing godly couples where both had adulterous affairs…
      • God was able to heal the devastated marriages and make them new – amazing!
      • Divorce is not required if there is adultery – just allowed…
    • To divorce and remarry for any other reason – Jesus tell us it is adultery…
      • If you marry someone who has been divorced – it is also adultery…
      • To separate from your spouse and ‘live’ with someone else is adultery…
      • The point is to emphasize that marriage is meant to last for a lifetime…
      • Though the Law allowed for Divorce – it was not the best answer…
      • Because of Hard hearts – literally dried up, hard, tough, unwilling to forgive…
      • Love, forgiveness, flexibility – are the glue that hold a marriage together!
      • Without them that ‘glue’ hardens – and the marriage falls apart…
  • Jesus went back before the Law of Moses – to God’s original plan – Genesis 1:27, 2:24
    • 1^st – In the beginning God made them male and female…
      • They are no longer two – but one – literally fulfilled in children – two made into one!
      • God created us male & female so that we would have godly children – Malachi 2:15
      • Children who know, love, and follow the Lord – by following their parent’s example
    • 2^nd – What God has joined (literally yoked) together…
      • The “yoke”/work God has for a marriage – to show God’s love to others
        • Marriage is meant to be a picture to help us understand God’s love for us…
        • God can say He loves us – but what exactly does that mean…
        • To define His love – He calls us his kids – He calls us his bride
      • If the picture of marriage is broken by a separated or unloving family…
        • Then we have a broken picture of the Love of God…
        • God loves me – till He finds someone better – if I don’t make mistakes…
        • Or He just puts up with us because he has no choice…
        • That is the picture that we see in many marriages today…
      • Marriage impacts our understanding of God’s love…
        • Marriage impacts our children’s understanding of God’s love…
        • That is why satan takes such an effort in destroying marriage….
        • With no love in marriage – understanding of God’s Love is damaged…
        • The greatest gift you could ever give to your kids is to love each other…
        • It is through your love & example that your kids learn of God’s love
    • 3^rd – Let no man separate…
      • In marriage – a man is joined – literally glued – to his wife
      • If you take two pieces of wood – and super glue them together – then rip them apart
      • They might separate – but not cleanly – they splinter – the separation damages both
      • When a marriage is broken – it tears open the hearts of both the husband and wife…
      • Divorce is not clean – it rips apart something that was never meant to separate…
      • What God has glued together – no man (including us) should take apart!
  • Paul went on to say – if you do divorce – do not remarry…
    • If you do not obey God’s command – and still choose to get a divorce…
      • Then you are to remain single – you are not allowed to remarry…
      • Unless you get remarried to the same spouse you divorced…
      • The implication here is your spouse was still alive…
      • And they did not have an adulterous affair (according to Jesus you could remarry)…
• You just got a divorce because ‘you were no longer in love’ / ‘incompatible’…

The believing spouse is no longer bound to the marriage – they are free…

The grass is greener on the other side…

Men and women divorce – because they think it is going to make them happier…

More often than not because they have met someone else who makes them happy…

And at first it might seem like a good answer – we put our best faces on at first…

But over time they find they left one sinner – only to marry another sinner…

The key to happiness is not who you marry – it is what your marriage is built on…

There is no divorce here in the Philippines…

Yet so often the marriage is over – even if the paperwork says otherwise…

Just because we are married in name – does not mean in our heart…

I have met many couple who are married – yet have ‘divorced’ each other in heart

They may live in the same house – but they do not share the same life

God does not want us to have mediocre marriages – but GREAT marriages…

God gives us the 2 keys to having a GREAT marriage in – Ephesians 5:22-33

1^st – Wives always submit to your husbands / 2^nd – Husbands always love your wives

The problem is that those commands are impossible…

It is impossible for a wife to submit to her (flawed) husband…

It is impossible for a husband to love (perfectly) his wife…

Instead we make our ‘submission’ and ‘love’ conditional…

If she submits to me I will love her / If he loves me I will submit to him…

And then we cannot understand why our marriage is growing apart / falling apart

What’s missing in most marriages – is Jesus!

I’ve purposed to find the reason behind the best marriages – the GREAT marriages

Interestingly the best marriage aren’t based on feelings, attraction, or commitment

These things are not consistent ~ because we are not consistent

We get cranky / have bad days / we get old and wrinkly / not always committed

The one constant we can build a marriage on ~ is Jesus…

Hebrews 13:8 – “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.”

Husbands – read the Bible with your wife / pray with her/ take her to church

Be the example for your wife and children to follow – I Corinthians 11:1

As you’re close to Jesus – growing in Jesus – you’ll overflow with Jesus’ Love

As you’re close to Jesus – you’ll find your wives want to submit to you!

2^nd – If you have an unbelieving spouce… vs. 12-16

Paul goes on to give his wisdom from the Lord for those – ‘married to an unbeliever’…

This could have come about in two different ways…

1^st – One spouse in a marriage ends up receiving Jesus as their savior…

The got married when nether was a Christian – both were unsaved…

A common dilemma that many families have to face – parents have different faiths…

Often a point of great contention in marriages – different values…

One wants to go to church on Sunday – the other wants to sleep in…

2^nd – You marry an unbeliever…

* II Corinthians 6:14 – “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers…

Just because a girl is ‘religious’ and knows ‘about Jesus’ does not mean she is saved…

Don’t marry a girl just because she is cute – marry one who loves the Lord…

Be very careful whom you choose to be your wife – it is a permanent decision…

Find a woman who loves the Lord – not just in words – but also in actions!

If the unbelieving spouse is willing to stay in the marriage – do not divorce them…

1^st – The believing spouse sanctifies the children – making them holy…

The only way to get to heaven is by faith in Jesus Christ…

But what happens to young children/babies who are not old enough…

Have not yet come to the age when they are capable of choosing Jesus…

Different for every child – likely a process – not a single moment…

A 3-year-old child might ‘accept’ Jesus – but not with full understanding…

They might ‘accept’ Jesus again at 10 or 12 – then again at 15 or 16…

Coming to a place as an adult where they understand and choose Jesus!

We assume these kids go to heaven – God is His justice receives them as innocent…

King David after his sin with Bathsheba – fasted and prayed for their son…

As part of the punishment – their baby became sick and soon after died…

When David found out – he stood up – changed – and ate again because…

* II Samuel 12:23 -“Why should I fast when he is dead? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him one day, but he cannot return to me.”

If at least one of the parent is a believer…

The young children are ‘sanctified’ – made holy – by the believing parents faith…

This could simply mean because of the influence of the believing spouse…

Teaching the children about Jesus – training them up to follow the Lord…

But it could also have a spiritual aspect – the kids are literally sanctified…

The saving faith of the believing spouse extending over the children…

Until they reach an age where they can choose whether or not to follow Jesus

Good motivation to stay in the marriage – for the sake of the children…

You might ask – what about if both parents are un-believers…

The Bible is silent on this – we do not know what happens to these kids…

I would say – God is still just – and if they kids are not old enough to understand…

Then God would take them straight into heaven – but I cannot say for sure…

2^nd – God may use you to save your spouse…

What kind of example – love – would you show if you said I am ‘divorcing you’…

But if you stick with the marriage – put up with the unbelieving spouse…

Then you show them the same love that God first gave to you…

Romans 5:8 – “God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

Rather than getting a divorce – be a light / example to your spouse…

God may use you – your example of Agape/selfless love – to win them over…

If the unbelieving spouse leaves – they divorce you – you are free…

Paul here gives the 3^rd and final Biblical reason for divorce…

You cannot make a person stay – you cannot force to remain in the marriage…

If an unbelieving spouse insist on a divorce – God has called us to peace – let them go…