God’s plan for marriage

• The Pharisees came to Jesus – testing Him… Vs. 1-2
  • Jesus left the area of Galilee – and traveled south to Judea – beside the Jordan River…
    • There a multitude gathered – and as was His custom – Jesus taught them…
    • About 6 months passed between the end of Mark 9 – beginning of Mark 10
    • Luke 10-18 and John 7-11 all take place during this time frame
    • This is the beginning of Jesus’ final trip to Jerusalem – the cross is only weeks away… 
  • The Pharisees came to Jesus again to test Him…
    • No sooner did Jesus return to the region of Judea than the Pharisees pop up again
    • We last saw them confront Jesus back in Mark 8 – Seeking a sign
    • They were still not looking for answers – just another chance to attack Jesus…
  • ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife’ – Matthew 9:3 adds – ‘for just ANY reason’…
    • Divorce was common problem in the Jesus’ time (and in much of the world today)
    • The debate was over the lawful (God’s Law) reasons for divorce…
    • Conservative (unpopular) a man could only divorce his wife in the case of adultery
    • Liberal (very popular) a man could divorce his wife for any reason…
    • If he found a prettier woman that he wanted to marry / if his wife burnt his rice… 
• What the Bible says about Divorce… Vs. 3-4
  • Jesus’ answer – ‘What did Moses command’…
    • I love that Jesus did not argue opinions – Jesus took them back to the Word of God
      • Too often the answers that men give are just their opinions…
      • Ask 10 people for an answer to a problem – you will get 10 different answers
      • It does not matter what someone’s opinion is – what does God say
      • If we have a question – we need to go to the only answer – the Word of God!
    • They answered – ‘Moses allowed for a certificate of Divorce’ – Deuteronomy 24:1
      • Moses – the Law – did allow for a man to divorce his wife…
      • Not only that – the Law did not specify for what reasons Divorce was allowed
      • It left the question of ‘reason’ unanswered – and open to interpretation
  • The 3 New Testament reasons for Divorce…
    • 1^st – the only reason Jesus gives for divorce – sexually immorality – adultery
      • The word is (pornia) – carrying the idea of ongoing deviant sexual behavior
      • Adultery is any physical relationship outside the covenant of marriage
      • Why only adultery– it’s a violation of trust that is almost impossible to overcome
      • Even with adultery there is hope… Jesus can still restore a shattered marriage
      • I know amazing godly couples where both had adulterous affairs
      • God was able to heal devastated marriages and make them new – amazing!
      • Divorce is not required if there is adultery – just allowed 
    • 2^nd – Death – If your spouse dies – you can remarry
      • Romans 7:2 – “The woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law…”
      • Note – you are not allowed to kill your spouse so you can remarry
    • 3^rd – Abandonment – if an unbelieving spouse leaves permanently – I Corinthians 7:15
      • The believing spouse is not permitted to abandon the marriage
      • Who is to say that you might not be used to bring your spouse to Jesus!
      • But if the unbelieving spouse leaves – you are free from the marriage
    • To divorce and remarry for any other reason – Jesus tell us it is adultery… vs. 11-12
      • If you marry someone who has been divorced – it is also adultery
      • To separate from your spouse and ‘live’ with someone else is adultery
      • The point is to emphasize that marriage is meant to last for a lifetime…

•  Marriage is meant to last for a lifetime… vs. 5-9, 11-12
  • Though Moses allowed for Divorce – it was not the best answer – cause of hard hearts
    • Hard – literally dried up, hard, tough, unwilling to change, unwilling to forgive
    • Love, forgiveness, flexibility – are the glue that hold a marriage together!
    • Without them that ‘glue’ hardens – and the marriage falls apart…
  • Jesus goes back before the Law of Moses – to God’s original plan – Genesis 1:27, 2:24
    • 1^st – In the beginning God made them male and female…
      • They are no longer two – but one – literally fulfilled in children – two made into one!
      • God created us male & female so that we would have godly children – Malachi 2:15
      • Children who know, love, and follow the Lord – by following their parent’s example
    • 2^nd – What God has joined (literally yoked) together…
      • The “yoke”/work God has for a marriage – to show God’s love to others
        • Marriage is meant to be a picture to help us understand God’s love for us
        • God can say He loves us – but what exactly does that mean…
        • To define His love – He calls us his kids – He calls us his bride
      • If the picture of marriage is broken by a separated or unloving family
        • Then we have a broken picture of the Love of God…
        • God loves me – till He finds someone better – if I don’t make mistakes
        • Or He just puts up with us because he has no choice…
        • That is the picture that we see in many marriages today…
      • Marriage impacts our understanding of God’s love…
        • Marriage impacts our children’s understanding of God’s love
        • That is why satan takes such an effort in destroying marriage
        • With no love in marriage – understanding of God’s Love is damaged
        • The greatest gift you could ever give to your kids is to love each other
        • It is through your love & example that your kids learn of God’s love
    • 3^rd – Let no man separate…
      • In marriage – a man is joined – literally glued – to his wife
      • If you take two pieces of wood – and super glue them together – then rip them apart
      • They might separate – but not cleanly – they splinter – the separation damages both
      • When a marriage is broken – it tears open the hearts of both the husband and wife
      • Divorce is not clean – it rips apart something that was never meant to separate
      • What God has glued together – no man (including us) should take apart

• Those who are not ‘yet’ married… vs. 10
  • When the disciples entered the house they asked again about marriage
    • Matthew 19:10 – “If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry.”
    • The disciples understood what Jesus was saying – marriage was for life
      • Whether you married a good spouse or a bad one – you were stuck for life!
      • Considering the potential hazards of marrying a bad one–better to be single
    • Marriage is very good – Proverbs 18:22 – “He who finds a wife finds a good thing…”
      • Yet there is wisdom in being very careful on deciding whom to marry…
      • It is a decision that will last the rest of your life – for better or worse
  • Most people are called to be married – but a few are meant to stay single
    • There is a great advantage to not being married…
      • I Corinthians 7:32-33 – “He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord–how he may please the Lord.  But he who is married cares about the things of the world–how he may please his wife.”
      • When we are married much of our time and energy goes to our family
      • When single we are freed up in our time and resources to serve the Lord
    • So is it better to be single…
      • If you can be single – then it is better to be single and wholly serve the Lord
      • But – if you are tempted by the idea of marriage – I Corinthians 7:2 
      • If you have dreamt your whole life about being married
      • If you think every time someone looks at you they may be the one…
      • Then there is a good chance you are not called to be married

• The conclusion – be content where you are…
  • I Corinthians 7:27 – “If you have a wife, do not end the marriage. If you do not have a wife, do not [seek to] get married.”
  • If you are not married…
    • Do not seek a wife (spouse) – Present/Active/Imperative
    • There is a difference between desire and seeking
    • It is not wrong to desire to be married…  we just should not seek marriage
    • Like Adam – who if he’d insisted on finding a wife – had limited options – monkey?
    • Adam instead ‘waited’ (went to sleep) and the Lord brought Him Eve
    • If you want to get married – don’t go and do your best to find a spouse – monkey?
    • Fall asleep (with your desire to get married) and wait on the Lord
    • Or like Isaac and Rebekah – the only recorded engagement in the Bible
    • Rebekah was busy about her Father’s business when ‘the Holy Spirit’ called her
    • Isaac was not out looking for his wife – taking time to seek & pray to the Lord…
    • As they were both focused on Jesus – God brought together a great marriage!
    • If you want to find that perfect one – be busy about your Heavenly Father’s business
    • Not seeking a wife/husband – but taking the time to seek and pray to Jesus
    • Then as we wait on/ look to Jesus – in His time – He will provide us the perfect spouse
  • If you are married – have a GREAT marriage…
    • God does not want us to have mediocre marriages – but GREAT marriages…
      • God gives us the 2 keys to having a GREAT marriage in – Ephesians 5:22-33
      • 1^st – Wives always submit to your husbands / 2^nd – Husbands always love your wives
    • The problem is that those commands are impossible…
      • It is impossible for a wife to submit to her (flawed) husband
      • It is impossible for a husband to love (perfectly) his wife
      • Instead we make our ‘submission’ and ‘love’ conditional…
      • If she submits to me I will love her / If he loves me I will submit to him…
      • And then we cannot understand why our marriage is growing apart / falling apart
    • There is no divorce here in the Philippines…
      • Yet so often the marriage is over – even if the paperwork says otherwise
      • Just because we are married in name – does not mean in our heart
      • I have met many couple who are married – yet have ‘divorced’ each other in heart
      • They may live in the same house – but they do not share the same life
    • What’s missing in most marriages – is Jesus!
      • I’ve purposed to find the reason behind the best marriages – the GREAT marriages
      • Interestingly the best marriage aren’t based on feelings, attraction, or commitment
        • These things are not consistent ~ because we are not consistent
        • We get cranky / have bad days / we get old and wrinkly / not always committed
      • The one constant we can build a marriage on ~ is Jesus…
        • Hebrews 13:8 – “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.”
        • Husbands – read the Bible with your wife / pray with her/ take her to church
        • Be the example for your wife and children to follow – I Corinthians 11:1
        • As you’re close to Jesus – growing in Jesus – you’ll overflow with Jesus’ Love
        • Wives – pray for your husbands – encourage them in their walk with Jesus
        • As you’re close to Jesus – you’ll be able to submit to your husband – trusting Jesus 
• They kept brining little children to Jesus… vs. 13-15
  • But the disciples rebuked those who brought them – as though they were un-important…
  • Jesus was upset – ‘Let the little children come to me – for such is the kingdom of Heaven!’
  • Don’t miss this last comment Jesus makes – He tells the disciples Children are the point!
  • So often in marriages we only get caught up in our own problems
  • We miss the impact that our decision have on our kids
  • Our kids watch everything we do – and learn through our choices
  • Let us teach them through our marriage about the God who Love them
  • About Jesus who takes the time to lay His hand on their heads and bless them!