Purity in Marriage – Proverbs 5

• 1^st – Dangerous Words… vs. 1-8
  • 1^st – Personal Experience… vs. 1-2
    • My son – pay attention to my wisdom. Lend your ear to my understanding.
    • That you may preserve discretion – and your lips may keep knowledge!
    • Having encouraged [jussive] his SON to listen to the WISDOM of the LORD…
    • Solomon demands [imperative] his SON listen to HIS wisdom – HIS knowledge…
    • To stay away from EVIL [מְזִמָּה] – keep [imperfect] this wisdom on his lips…
    • Because if there is ONE thing Solomon had a LOT of experience with – it was WOMEN…
    • He had SEVEN hundred wives – and THREE hundred girlfriends – I Kings 11:3
    • He no doubt learned PAINFUL lessons – and he wanted to pass those on to Rehoboam!
    • If someone warns us NOT to go into a room – who has NEVER been inside [not much impact]
    • But if someone walks out of the door – and they are BEATEN up – gasping for breath…
    • And they PLEAD with us – do NOT go in there – we are going to LISTEN!
    • The best person to be able to WARN others about the dangers of a particular SIN…
    • Is someone who has experienced it – and personally KNOWS the consequences…
    • It is amazing how God uses all things – even our MISTAKES – Romans 8:28
    • He allows us to give our WISDOM and KNOWLEDGE to others…
    • So we can WARN them about the dangers of SIN – COMFORT them that God forgives!
    • II Corinthians 1:3 – “Who comforts us in all our tribulation – that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”
  • 2^nd – Temptation… vs. 3
    • For the lips of an immoral woman drip honey – and her mouth is smoother than oil.
    • Solomon focuses on the WORDS of a STRANGER [זוּר]
    • A PERSON who is NOT our spouse – whose words are SWEET [honey] and SMOOTH [oil]
    • We live in a world that is full of IMAGES that we should NOT see [pornography]
    • And SEXUAL immorality [πορνεία] is SIN in our heart – Matthew 5:28
    • But IMAGES are not what tends to lead to ADULTERY – that starts with WORDS!
    • Be careful of seemingly INNOCENT conversations with anyone who is NOT our spouse…
    • Because when we COMPLIMENT others [honey] – and say KIND things [oil]
    • Those WORDS can begin to form BONDS between people of the opposite gender…
    • We LIKE to hear them – and we might start LOOKING for them…
    • Do not FORGET where we invest our TIME [treasure] is where our heart goes – Matthew 6:21
  • 3^rd – Destruction… vs. 4-7
    • But in the end she is bitter as wormwood – Sharp as a two-edged sword.
    • Her feet go down to death – Her steps lay hold of hell.
    • The path of life she does not ponder. Her ways are unstable – and she does not know it.
    • Therefore hear me now – my children – and do not depart from the words of my mouth!
    • What starts out as SWEET – can only end in BITTERNESS – like wormwood [bitter plant]
    • Adultery will cut down BOTH [two edged sword] people who are involved…
    • It is a PATH that will lead to DEATH [of marriage] – and because it is SIN – to HELL [שְׁאוֹל]
    • Yet WHILE people do it – they do NOT stop and think about how dangerous [unstable] it is…
    • They are deceived by their HEART – swept up in EMOTION…
    • Therefore – Solomon pleads [jussive] with us [children] to LISTEN to his WISDOM [words]!
    • The scenarios are as COMMON as they are TRAGIC…
    • We live with our SPOUSE – meaning we see the GOOD and the BAD…
    • There are going to be days when we FIGHT – get our feelings HURT…
    • The danger comes when we believe the LIE…
    • The secretary at work – the trainer at the gym – the friend who seems to always care…
    • People – who are NOT our spouse – who we spend TIME with…
    • We start to think maybe they could make us HAPPIER…
    • And we do not stop to THINK – we are walking down a path that leads to DEATH!
  • 4^th – Avoid temptation… vs. 8
    • Remove your way far from her – and do not go near the door of her house!
    • The SOLUTION is simple – STAY away from that person…
    • Do not go NEAR them – PLEASE [jussive] do not even go CLOSE to their house!
    • If we plant a SEED – and WATER it every day – it will GROW…
    • But if we IGNORE the SEED – chose to NEGLECT it – it will not survive!
    • If there is a person who we THINK about too much…
    • A person we are a little too EXCITED to see – that is the WARNING…
    • There is a SEED that has been planted in our heart – and we must NOT water it…
    • The only REMEDY – is to AVOID them at all costs – STAY away!
    • I Corinthians 6:18 – “Flee sexual immorality!”

• 2^nd – Dangerous Women… vs. 9-14
  • 1^st – Consequences… vs. 9-10
    • Lest you give your honor to others – and your years to the cruel one.
    • Lest strangers be filled with your wealth – and your labors go to the house of a foreigner!
    • If we do NOT stay away – there will be consequences…
    • LEST [פֶּן] – first used by satan when he tempted Eve in the Garden – Genesis 3:3
    • We will LOSE our honor [family] – and our remaining years will be CRUEL…
    • STRANGERS [זוּר] – the same word used to describe the OTHER woman…
    • They will get our MONEY – and all of our LABOR will go to them [woman and her kids]!
    • The world and satan try to TEMPT us – the grass is GREENER on the other side…
    • Men and women divorce – because they think it is going to make them happier…
    • And at first it might seem like a good answer – we put our best faces on at first…
    • But over time they find they left one sinner – only to marry another sinner!
    • A marriage is DESTROYED because a HUSBAND or WIFE thought they could be happier!
  • 2^nd – Regrets… vs. 11-14
    • And you mourn at last. When your flesh and your body are consumed.
    • And say: How I have hated instruction- and my heart despised correction!
    • I have not obeyed the voice of my teachers – nor inclined my ear to those who instructed me!
    • I was on the verge of total ruin in the midst of the assembly and congregation!
    • In the END of your LIFE – the ADULTERER will MOURN [sequential]
    • Because – they may end up with some STD [flesh consumed]
    • More than ONE million people get an STD [AIDS – syphilis – gonorrhea] every DAY…
    • Having said [perfect] – they foolishly HATED the warning [instruction]
    • Their deceitful HEART refused to be corrected – Jeremiah 17:9
    • Because they did NOT obey the words of the teacher [Solomon] – listen to his WARNING…
    • They were on the edge of being LOST – all [כָּל] evil [רַע] – and EVERYONE knew about it…
    • Because SIN never stays HIDDEN – it always comes out in the END – Luke 8:17
    • I knew a PASTOR – he was a really NICE guy – with a GOOD family…
    • But he UNWISELY chose to counsel a women ALONE…
    • His KIND words ministered to her HURTING heart – and she thought she LOVED him…
    • Her KIND compliments began to WIN over his heart – in the end he lost EVERYTHING!
    • LISTEN – and LEARN a lesson that will SAVE your family [and your life]
    • No one ever comes to the end of their life – and says they were GLAD they LEFT their family…
    • What they do is MOURN – because they FOOLISHLY followed their wicked heart…
    • Therefore – do NOT be alone with someone from the opposite gender…
    • Be accountable – guard your heart – do NOT make a CHOICE you will regret!

• 3^rd – Good water… vs. 15-23
  • 1^st – Pure water… vs. 15-17
    • Drinking water… vs. 15-16
      • Drink water from your own cistern – and running water from your own well.
      • Should your fountains be dispersed abroad – streams of water in the streets?
      • Solomon gives us an illustration – to show how FOOLISH it is to have an AFFAIR…
      • He uses the picture of WATER to represent SEX!
      • Because like THIRST – that can only be quenched by drinking WATER…
      • There is a DRIVE God has put in all of us – that can only be quenched by SEX…
      • But if we have a WELL in our yard [spouse] – with PURE clean water…
      • Why would we want to go out in the STREET and gather SEWAGE [stranger] water to drink!
      • Hebrews 13:4 – “Marriage is honorable among all – and the bed undefiled.”
      • God intends SEX to be ONLY for marriage…
      • The bed is pure – ONLY in a lifelong relationship between a husband and wife…
      • Which means that if someone is struggling with purity – better to be MARRIED!
      • I Corinthians 7:9 – “For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”
    • Giving water… vs. 17
      • Let them be only your own – and not for strangers with you!
      • In the same way please [jussive] do NOT give your WATER to STRANGERS [זוּר]
      • We live in a world that sells SEX as just being about PLEASURE [the moment]
      • But God created SEX to be something far DEEPER [lifelong]
      • After SEX the body releases OXYTOCIN – known as the LOVE hormone…
      • It BONDS a person to emotionally to their SPOUSE – makes them DESIRE to be with them!
      • Matthew 19:6 – “They are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together – let no man separate.”
        
  • 2^nd – Only Water… vs. 18-19
    • Let your fountain be blessed – and rejoice with the wife of your youth.
    • As a loving deer and a graceful doe – let her breasts satisfy you at all times.
    • And always be enraptured with her love!
    • The BEST [blessed] sex [fountain] – will always be in marriage
    • Therefore – we MUST [imperative] choose to be HAPPY [rejoice] in our SPOUSE [wife]
    • Like a loving BUCK and a graceful DOE [called lock down – a buck will never leave a doe]
    • A husband should [jussive] only quench his THIRST [satisfy] with his wife [breasts]
    • He should ALWAYS [כָּל] be DRUNK [שָׁגָה] by his love for her!
    • A doctor friend shared a basic medical truth about SEX…
    • There is no difference MEDICALLY who we have sex with – the outcome is the same!
    • But RELATIONALLY – and SPIRITUALLY – the difference is HUGE …
    • For a moment of PLEASURE – we could lose our FAMILY – and even our SOUL…
    • So WISDOM is to choose to ONLY DRINK – and be SATISFIED in our SPOUSE!
  • 3^rd – God is watching… vs. 20-23
    • Eyes of the Lord… vs. 20-21
      • For why should you – my son – be enraptured by an immoral woman.
      • And be embraced in the arms of a seductress?
      • For the ways of man are before the eyes of the LORD – and He ponders all his paths.
      • There is no GOOD reason to DRINK [שָׁגָה] from a STRANGE [זוּר] person [woman]
      • Do not fall into the EMBRACE [piel] of someone who is NOT our spouse…
      • Because although adultery is seen as a SECRET sin – people do not announce it…
      • The LORD who sees everything men do – will JUDGE [פָּלַס] their choice!
      • Hebrew 13:4 – “Fornicators [πόρνος] and adulterers God will judge!”
      • We may think that we got away with our SIN – that NO one knows…
      • We may even convince ourselves that because God has done nothing…
      • But God knows EVERYTHING we do – and He will expose us – Hebrews 4:13
      • We should NOT take his Grace and longsuffering to mean He is OK with sin…
      • He just gives us time so that we can CHOOSE to REPENT – turn back to Him!
    • The Trap… vs. 22-23
      • His own iniquities entrap the wicked man – and he is caught in the cords of his sin.
      • He shall die for lack of instruction – and in the greatness of his folly he shall go astray!
      • The SIN of WICKED will TRAP him – his SIN will bind [niphal] him…
      • He will DIE because of his complete [אִין] LACK of self-control…
      • He will be LOST because his FOOLISH choice!
      • I saw a movie a number of years ago – the wife of the main character cheated on him…
      • When he found out she asked if he heard what she said…
      • His answer stuck with me – I could not hear you over the sound of the CRACK in the planet!
      • The warning is OMINOUS – do not even begin to go down this path…
      • Because ONE momentary choice can change our lives forever…
      • There is no walking back ADULTERY – it is a FOOLISH choice…
      • It is one of only THREE reasons the Bible gives for divorce – Matthew 19:9
      • And although it is NOT unforgiveable – either by God or by our spouse – Romans 5:20
      • How much better to simply CHOSE to be satisfied in our marriage!

• 4^th – Dangers of Money… vs. 1-19
  • 1^st – Loaning money… vs. 1-2
    • My son – if you become surety for your friend. If you have shaken hands in pledge for a stranger.
    • You are snared by the words of your mouth. You are taken by the words of your mouth!
    • The FIRST wisdom Solomon gave to his SON [Rehoboam] – was about women…
    • The SECOND wisdom he will give has to do with MONEY [also an area of expertise]
    • If his SON agreed to cover the DEBT of a friend – or made a DEAL [shake] with a STRANGER…
    • It would become a TRAP – he would be BOUND [niphal] to keep his WORD!
    • We need to be VERY careful when it comes to lending MONEY…
    • Especially when it comes to FRIENDS – or UNBELIEVERS…
    • Because it is easy to give away – but VERY hard to collect [ruins friendships]
    • Because it might put us in awkward positions with unbelievers – II Corinthians 6:14
  • 2^nd – No Debts… vs. 3-5
    • So do this my son – and deliver yourself. For you have come into the hand of your friend.
    • Go and humble yourself. Plead with your friend.
    • Give no sleep to your eyes – nor slumber to your eyelids.
    • Deliver yourself like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter – a bird from the hand of the fowler!
    • The command [imperative] of Solomon – was to do this NOW [emphatic]
    • Because his SON needed [imperative] to DELIVER [niphal] himself from his PROMISE…
    • He was to GO [imperative] – FALL down [imperative] – and BEG [imperative] to be set free…
    • Because at the moment he was like a trapped gazelle – or caged bird!
    • I have noted over the years – whenever MONEY is involved – it gets awkward…
    • Even with the best of intentions – it does not tend to end well!
    • Rather than get financially involved with FRIENDS – or UNBELIEVERS…
    • We should instead have no other DEBT – than to LOVE one another!
    • Romans 13:8 – “Owe no one anything except to love one another.”
  • 3^rd – Lazy Man… vs. 6-11
    • The Ant… vs. 6-8
      • Go to the ant – you sluggard! Consider her ways and be wise.
      • Which – having no captain – overseer or ruler.
      • Provides her supplies in the summer – and gathers her food in the harvest!
      • Rather than look for handouts [loans] from the SON of the King…
      • Solomon commands [imperative] those who are LAZY to look at the ANT…
      • Whom have no CAPTAIN – OVERSEER – or RULER [no one tells them what to do]
      • But because they are HARD working – they have [hiphil] FOOD to eat!
    • Wake up… vs. 9-11
      • How long will you slumber – O sluggard? When will you rise from your sleep?
      • A little sleep – a little slumber – a little folding of the hands to sleep.
      • So shall your poverty come on you like a prowler – and your need like an armed man!
      • Those who are LAZY – just like to SLEEP – but they are also GOOD at excuses –
      • Just a little more SLEEP – a little NAP – a little prayer [folding hands]
      • Until POVERTY comes like a THIEF and takes all they have!
      • I had a person give me a coin once – they called it a ROUND Tuit…
      • Because they answer of the LAZY is always – I will get around to it!
      • God promises to provide for us – give us food to eat – Matthew 6:26
      • God can – and does at times – miraculously provide for our needs [manna from heaven]
      • But that does not mean we get to sit down and wait for the feast to arrive…
      • The most common way God provides – we WORK to put food on the table…
      • We are NOT to be a burden to others – we are to be accountable for our own needs!
      • II Thessalonians 3:10 – “If anyone will not work – neither shall he eat.”
        
  • 4^th – Worthless man… vs. 12-19
    • Why he is poor… vs. 12-15
      • A worthless person – a troubled man – walks with a perverse mouth.
      • He winks with his eyes. He shuffles his feet. He points with his fingers!
      • Perversity is in his heart. He devises evil continually. He sows discord!
      • Therefore his calamity shall come suddenly. Suddenly he shall be broken without remedy!
      • Solomon also wants his SON to see some people are poor for a REASON…
      • The person who has NO money – the man [אָדָם] who is always in TROUBLE…
      • FIRST – does NOT tell the truth [perverse mouth] – winks their EYE…
      • SECOND – does NOT want to work – they shuffle [move slow] – point to tell others what to do
      • THIRD – always [כָּל] has EVIL in their heart – seen in how they start TROUBLE!
      • Therefore – suddenly they are in NEED – and there is NO [אִין] cure [רָפָא] for them!
      • Sometimes when we step in to try and help those in NEED – we are getting in the way…
      • God is using their circumstances to try and get their attention…
      • If the REASON they are in TROUBLE is because of WHO they are [liar – lazy – divisive]
      • Then we need to get out of the way and let the Lord work!
    • Abomination… vs. 16
      • These six things the LORD hates – yes – seven are an abomination to Him!
      • Because there are SEVEN things the LORD hates [really just one – sin]
      • They DISGUST [abomination] the LORD to His core [נֶפֶשׁ]!
      • This is not meant to be an exhaustive list – these are not the SEVEN great sins…
      • Paul gives us a list of sins in Galatians 5:19-21 – I Corinthians 6:9-10
      • This list is tied into the CONTEXT of people his SON should NOT lend MONEY to!
    • The List… vs. 17-19
      • A proud look – an EYE that looks down on others – an arrogant [lifted up] look
      • A lying tongue – a TONGUE [mouth] that does not tell the truth – James 3:6
      • Hands that shed innocent blood – HANDS that kill [spill] the blood of the innocent
      • A heart that devises wicked plans – a HEART that always thinks up TROUBLE [אָוֶן]
      • Feet that are swift in running to evil – FEET that are quick [piel] to run towards EVIL
      • A false witness who speaks lies – his EYES – TONGUE – HANDS – HEART and – FEET…
      • All lead him to speak LIES about his FRIENDS – he is a false witness…
      • One who sows discord among brethren – 
      • Because he is trying to bring DIVISION among the believers [brethren]!
      • You have to wonder if there was a SPECIFIC person Solomon was writing about…
      • Some lazy FRIEND of Rehoboam – that Solomon knew was TROUBLE…
      • They were always asking for MONEY – and would say and do anything to get it!
      • MONEY can ruin friendships – it can put us in awkward positions with unbelievers…
      • People might need MONEY because they are just LAZY [get to work]
      • Or they might need MONEY because they are just TROUBLE [God is humbling them]
      • The point for us is simple – be CAREFUL with MONEY!

• 5^th – Repeat Lesson… vs. 20-35
  • 1^st – Do not Forget… vs. 20-23
    • My son keep your fathers command – and do not forsake the law of your mother.
    • Bind them continually upon your heart. Tie them around your neck.
    • When you roam – they will lead you. When you sleep – they will keep you.
    • And when you awake – they will speak with you.
    • For the commandment is a lamp – and the law a light. Reproofs of instruction are the way of life!
    • Solomon turns his attention back to his SON [Rehoboam]
    • REPEATING what he already said – command of the Father – Law of his Mother – Proverbs 1:8
    • But emphasizing he should not just LISTEN [imperative] – he should KEEP [imperative]
    • Reminding him to BIND [imperative] the WORD to his heart [his emotions] – Proverbs 3:3
    • TIE [imperative] the WORD around his NECK [where he looked]
    • Because the WORD would LEAD [hiphil] him when he walked – Proverbs 3:23
    • GUARD him when he was ASLEEP – Proverbs 3:23
    • SPEAK to him – when he WOKE up – because the WORD [תּוֹרָה] is a LAMP…
    • That would CORRECT him – and TEACH him the WAY of LIFE!
    • Psalm 119:105 – “Your word is a lamp to my feet – and a light to my path.”
    • You may have noticed that the Bible often REPEATS itself…
    • The same message given in many ways – because we do NOT get it the FIRST time…
    • The Bible tells us over and over in the hoping it will eventually sink in!
  • 2^nd – Evil woman… vs. 24-25
    • To keep you from the evil woman. From the flattering tongue of a seductress.
    • Do not lust after her beauty in your heart – nor let her allure you with her eyelids!
    • The one LESSON Solomon wanted to make sure his SON did not forget – WOMEN…
    • The WORD of God – would keep him safe from the EVIL [רַע] woman…
    • From the SMOOTH words [tongue] of the STRANGE woman…
    • PLEASE [jussive] do not DESIRE her in your heart – or let your EYES focus on her beauty!
    • Job 31:1 – “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look with lust at a young woman.”
    • We live in challenging times as it pertain to PURITY of our EYES…
    • We have easy access to IMAGES that we should NEVER see [evil women]
    • And if we are NOT careful to guard our EYES – it will get into our hearts!
    • The battle for PURITY is not just fought in what we do…
    • We avoid sexual immorality by fighting the battle in our mind
    • Jesus said that if we LOOK – we are just as guilty – Matthew 5:28
    • Temptation becomes sin when we dwell on – fantasize about it – then act – James 1:12-15
    • We allow our mind to dwell on a desire – then that desire turns to action – sin!
    • II Timothy 2:22 – “Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue… the Lord out of a pure heart.”
  • 3^rd – Getting burned… vs. 26-29
    • For by means of a harlot a man is reduced to a crust of bread.
    • And an adulteress will prey upon his precious life.
    • Can a man take fire to his bosom and his clothes not be burned?
    • Can one walk on hot coals and his feet not be seared?
    • So is he who goes in to his neighbors wife. Whoever touches her shall not be innocent!
    • A man will lose EVERYTHING [bread crust left] – because of a HARLOT…
    • But sleeping with the wife of another man will cost your life [נֶפֶשׁ] – Leviticus 20:10
    • Because you cannot touch FIRE – and not get BURNED…
    • You cannot WALK on hot coals – and think your feet with not be BRANDED [scorched]
    • YES [כֵּן] anyone who goes to woman who is NOT his wife – will NOT [niphal] be innocent!
    • Kids love to look at FLAMES – they are colorful and beautiful…
    • But we learn at a very early age to NOT touch the fire – or we will get BURNED!
    • It is the same when it comes to LUST – if we LOOK – we will want to TOUCH…
    • We are UNWISE to think that we can LOOK – and not be TEMPTED…
    • We are FOOLISH to think we can TOUCH – and not get BURNED!
  • 4^th – The Cost… vs. 30-35
    • The Thief… vs. 30-31
      • People do not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy himself when he is starving.
      • Yet when he is found he must restore sevenfold. 
      • He may have to give up all the substance of his house!
      • If a THIEF steals food because he is HUNGRY – people do understand…
      • But when he is CAUGHT – he will pay back SEVEN fold – [fourfold] – Exodus 22:1
      • Even if it ends up costing him EVERYTHING [כָּל] he owns!
      • If the penalty for stealing a cell phone was only giving back what I took – no risk…
      • But if the penalty for stealing was repaying FOUR times its cost…
      • And if you do NOT have the money – they you have sell all you own – GOOD deterrent!
      • If the penalty for a crime is NOT severe enough – if it does not cost enough…
      • It will NOT keep people from committing a crime – the Law taught CONSEQUENCE!
    • The Adulterer… vs. 32-35
      • Whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks understanding. He destroys his own soul.
      • Wounds and dishonor he will get – and his reproach will not be wiped away.
      • For jealousy is a husbands fury. Therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance.
      • He will accept no recompense. Nor will he be appeased though you give many gifts!
      • If the PENALTY for stealing BREAD when you are hungry could be all you own…
      • How much greater the PENALTY for those who commit ADULTERY…
      • They do NOT understand – ADULTERY will destroy your SOUL…
      • His reputation will be RUINED – and his SHAME will never be taken away…
      • Because [כִּי] the HUSBAND of the women he slept with – will be JEALOUS…
      • In his RAGE – he will demand VENGEANCE – he will demand your LIFE – Leviticus 20:10
      • He will not accept any BRIBES – and will ignore any APOLOGY [gift]
      • A moment of pleasure – that leads to the end of your life..
      • It makes the decision a LOT easier – stay AWAY from [images] of the EVIL woman…
      • Because God is NOT mocked – and what we SOW – we also REAP – Galatians 6:7
      • And because it is the WILL of God that we avoid SEXUAL immorality – I Thessalonians 4:3