The Wedding night… vs. 1-7

• 1^st – God given gift…
  • Sensitive topic…
    • With the wedding ceremony over – it was time for the wedding NIGHT…
    • Although what is described next can make people a bit uncomfortable…
    • Sex is something the Bible does NOT shy away from addressing!
    • When we shy away from SENSITIVE subjects – it opens up the door…
    • Rather than getting our ideas from the WORD – we get them from the WORLD…
    • Parents – do NOT let the WORLD teach your kids about intimacy…
    • We live in a day and age when they are EXPOSED much younger than we might have been…
    • Satan would love nothing more than for our kids to have a GODLESS understanding of SEX!
  • God given purpose…
    • Withing the context of MARRIAGE [one man and one woman]
    • Intimacy has several BIBLICAL benefits that God indented…
    • FIRST – it is the ONLY way that we can be blessed with CHILDREN [fruitful and multiply]
    • Which is why God COMMANDED [imperative] Adam and Eve to have sex – Genesis 1:28
    • SECOND – it is also something that brings UNITY…
    • There is an EMOTIONAL – and SPIRITUAL connection in intimacy – I Corinthians 6:17
    • Jesus went back to Adam and Eve to remind us the TWO become ONE flesh…
    • And though intimacy God GLUED [προσκολλάω] them together – Matthew 19:5
    • THIRD – Solomon gave us the most obvious benefit – sex is ENJOYABLE!
    • This is where people tend to get into TROUBLE – they ONLY seek this final benefit…
    • The problem is when people look for the FUN – without first being MARRIED…
    • They end up with CHILDREN – they do NOT want…
    • And they end up GLUED to people – they do NOT care about…
    • Which is why SEX should ONLY take place – the way God intended it!
      
  • The gift…
    • The reality is most people are called to be MARRIED…
    • SINGLENESS is a rare GIFT that very few people are given – Matthew 19:11
    • The rest of us need HELP – and therefore God gives us the GIFT of marriage!
    • We might try and DENY it [I used to say I was a bachelor to the rapture]
    • But LADIES – if you dream about your wedding DAY…
    • MEN – if you cannot stop thinking about your wedding NIGHT…
    • Then you are NOT called to be single – and will one day get MARRIED!
    • The KEY is we need to be PATIENT – and wait for God to bring our spouse to us!
• 2^nd – Tender words… vs. 1
  • The Beloved: Behold you are fair my love! Behold you are fair!
  • As we come to the wedding NIGHT of Solomon and the Shulamite…
  • We see the BELOVED [Solomon] does almost all of the speaking [fifteen verses]
  • His first words to his new BRIDE were – he saw [הִנָּךְ] his best FRIEND [רַעְיָה] was FAIR [2x]!
  • FAIR [יָפֶה] – is the name of the city Jaffa in Israel…
  • It is called that because it sits on the Mediterranean – and is breathtaking…
  • As they are alone together for the first time – Solomon begins with tender words…
  • No doubt the Shulamite was insecure – so Solomon builds her up and praises her…
  • He will go on to describe his BRIDE in SEVEN ways!
  • All of the preprogramming the world put in our mind about sex – we need to erase…
  • It is not about self-gratification – it should be about the other person…
  • A godly husband is going to bless his bride with his WORDS…
  • A godly wife will bless her husband with her BODY!
  • I Corinthians 7:3 – “The husband should fulfill his wifes sexual needs – and the wife should fulfill her husbands needs.” [NLT]
• 3^rd – Her Beauty… vs. 1-5
  • Her eyes… vs. 1
    • You have doves eyes behind your veil!
    • It was not until the wedding night that Solomon got to lift the VEIL [צַמָּה]
    • And when he looked for the FIRST time into the eyes of his WIFE…
    • He was mesmerized by how INNOCENT [dove] – perhaps nervous – her eyes were!
    • In Jewish weddings the BRIDE always wears a VEIL…
    • The tradition being the GROOM is not just marrying her for her looks – but for her heart…
    • Although there is always wisdom in checked to make sure WHO you are marrying…
    • Jacob thought it was RACHEL – when it was actually LEAH – Genesis 29:25
  • Her hair… vs. 1
    • Your hair is like a flock of goats going down from Mount Gilead!
    • SECOND – Solomon likened her HAIR to a flock of GOATS…
    • The reference could be to the GOATS themselves – that can have long thick hair…
    • Or it could also be a reference to the FLOCK of goats flowing down a mountain [Gilead]!
    • Many years ago my pastor was teaching about Samson…
    • When he came to the passage where Samson calls his wife a HEIFER [cow] – Judges 14:18
    • He paused [people began to chuckle] – now MEN…
    • Do NOT turn to the book of Judges and say you can call your wife a HEIFER…
    • We are NOT going to call our wives HEIFERS – amen men [they all called back AMEN]
    • For fun I went back and edited that teaching and just removed a few words [NOT]
    • Needless to say when his wife heard the clip – I got in a LOT of trouble!
    • It goes without saying that some lines do NOT pass the test of time….
    • I do NOT recommend comparing our wives to ANY kind of LIVESTOCK!
  • Her teeth… vs. 2
    • Your teeth are like a flock of shorn sheep which have come up from the washing.
    • Every one of which bears twins and none is barren among them!
    • THIRD – Solomon described her TEETH…
    • Perhaps his commend about her being like GOATS – got her to SMILE…
    • They were like a flock of freshly shaved [no furry plaque] and washed [clean] sheep…
    • Meaning they were all WHITE – and she likely had good BREATH…
    • She also was NOT missing any of her TEETH…
    • Each one had a TWIN on the other side of her mouth – NONE [אִין] were missing!
    • When we were living in the mountains it was hard to get people to smile for pictures…
    • I thought it was just a CULTURAL thing – until one day I saw them LAUGH [no teeth]!
    • There is something to be said about good DENTAL hygiene…
    • One of the things I adore most about Jen is she has the PRETTIEST – most INFECTIOUS smile!
  • Her lips… vs. 3
    • Your lips are like a strand of scarlet and your mouth is lovely!
    • FOURTH – Solomon described her LIPS…
    • They were like a THIN red line – and he thought that made her mouth LOVELY!
    • Funny how STYLES change – the big thing now is PUFFY lips…
    • Women will inject BOTOX into them just to make them THICKER!
    • A good reminder that BEAUTY is NOT found in some STYLE…
    • What is considered attractive by the world TODAY – will be forgotten TOMORROW…
    • True beauty comes when a WIFE has the heart of her HUSBAND [thick or thin lips]
    • I Peter 3:3 – “Do not be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles – expensive jewelry – or beautiful clothes.” [NLT]
  • Her temples… vs. 3
    • Your temples behind your veil are like a piece of pomegranate!
    • FIFTH – Solomon described her FACE [temples]
    • Her cheeks looked as RED as the inside of a POMEGRANATE…
    • No doubt because she was BLUSHING at his description of her!
    • Men – it is a GOOD thing to EMBARRASS our wives [get them to blush]
    • Do NOT misunderstand – I am not saying we should do EMBARRASSING things…
    • But we should NOT hesitate to show our LOVE in ways that may EMBARRASS them…
    • Give them a BOQUETE – read them a bit of POETRY – show them how much we care!
  • Her neck… vs. 4
    • Your neck is like the tower of David built for an armory.
    • On which hang a thousand bucklers all shields of mighty men!
    • SIXTH – Solomon described her NECK…
    • It was apparently a LONG neck – like [כְּ] the tower of David [מִגְדַּל דָּוִיד]
    • The thousand SHIELDS handing on her neck – are likely a reference to her NECKLACE…
    • She no doubt was wearing exquisite JEWELRY for her WEDDING day!
  • Her breasts… vs. 5-6
    • Your two breasts are like two fawns – twins of a gazelle which feed among the lilies.
    • Until the day breaks and the shadows flee away.
    • I will go my way to the mountain of myrrh and to the hill of frankincense!
      
    • SEVENTH – Solomon moved kept moving down to her BREASTS [thankfully no lower]
    • He LIKENS them to TWO fawns – TWINS [identical] of a DEAR [gazelle]
    • It is possible Solomon was referring to their COLOR [tan]
    • As we were previously told that the Shulamite was DARK skinned – Song of Songs 1:6
    • The lilies are perhaps a description of her WHITE dress that covered them…
    • Solomon likened them to two fragrant MOUNTAINS – Frankincense and Myrrh…
    • Most likely referring to her perfume – that scented her wedding dress…
    • And Solomon wanted to enjoy them until the MORNING!
    • There are things we FORBIDDEN to show outside of marriage…
    • God intends for them to ONLY be seen – by ONE person – AFTER the wedding…
    • Ladies – do NOT cheapen yourself – you are precious to GOD and to the MAN you marry…
    • Men – do NOT go looking at things that are NOT for you…
    • Save your eyes for the ONE woman that God will give to you!
• 4^th – Perfect… vs. 7
  • You are all fair my love and there is no spot in you!
  • After giving SEVEN descriptions – the number of perfection…
  • Solomon conclude by saying EVERY [כֹּל] part of his FRIEND [רַעְיָה] was BEAUTIFUL [יָפֶה]
  • She was PERFECT – there was NOT [אִין] even one SPOT on her!
  • This is where we get a GLIMPSE again of the DEEPER context of the story…
  • Because we know we are NOT perfect – we have LOTS of spots…
  • We are ALL sinners – and have ALL made MANY mistakes – Romans 3:23
  • Yet when the Lord looks at us – His BRIDE – His FRIEND – He sees us a PERFECT…
  • Because Jesus paid it ALL – He made us SPOTLESS!
  • Revelation 7:14 – “[We] have washed [our] robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb.”

• 2^nd – The Invitation… vs. 8-11
  • 1^st – Come away… vs. 8
    • Leave home…
      • Come with me from Lebanon – my spouse – with me from Lebanon.
      • Look from the top of Amana. From the top of Senir and Hermon!
      • The INVITATION was for the Shulamite to [אִתִּי] come WITH Solomon [2x for emphasis]
      • Out of her home in LEBANON – away from her old LIFE – Genesis 2:24
      • She apparently lived north west of DAMASCUS – near Mount Amana [Jabal az-Zabadany]
      • Where she could see Mount Hermon – also known as Mount Senir [snow]!
    • The danger…
      • From the lions dens. From the mountains of the leopards!
      • What would keep the Shulamite from coming to Solomon – hidden DANGERS…
      • The LIONS and LEOPARDS that lived in the mountains…
      • The thought here is NOT literal – but the DOUBTS she had about Marriage…
      • What IF it was NOT what she thought – what IF she left home and regretted it!
      • It is always scarry to take a step of FAITH…
      • And it goes without saying that MARRIAGE is a HUGE step…
      • Choosing to walk away from a FAMILIAR life – surrounded by loving family…
      • To step out into the UNKNOWN – commit our life to another person [crazy]
      • But when the Lord is the one leading – it is the BEST decision we will every make!
  • 2^nd – Captured heart… vs. 9-11
    • Two names… vs. 9
      • You have ravished my heart my sister – my spouse!
      • Solomon tells her that she makes [piel] his heart RACE faster [לָבַב]
      • At this point Solomon is EXCITED for what is coming…
      • But he gives her TWO names – he does call her his BRIDE [כַּלָּה]
      • And he also calls her his SISTER [אָחוֹת] – because they had the same FATHER…
      • Not speaking of their EARTHLY father – but their HEAVENLY father…
      • Because Solomon understood he was to treat her like a PRINCESS!
      • I Timothy 5:2 – “[Treat] the younger as sisters with all purity [from root word ἅγιος].”
      • Men we need to remember that women are our SISTERS…
      • Those we are NOT married to – we need treat with HOLINESS…
      • But even our WIVES we need to remember – they are the daughter of the KING…
      • Our wives are the greatest gift we will ever receive – we are to CHERISH them…
      • If we do NOT – we will have to explain ourselves to their FATHER – God in heaven!
    • One look… vs. 9
      • You have ravished my heart with one look of your eyes – with one link of your necklace!
      • All the Shulamite had to do was give Solomon ONE look…
      • Just the site of her – even her neck peeking out from behind her necklace…
      • Was ALL it took – and his heart began to RACE faster [לָבַב]!
      • Ladies you need to REMEMBER how powerful your looks can be…
      • It does NOT take much to STUMBLE your BROTHERS…
      • It might be the flirtatious smile – or slightly revealing clothes…
      • Just ONE look – and their hearts will begin to race…
      • It is true that the MEN need to guard their SISTERS hearts…
      • But it is equally as true the WOMEN need to guard their BROTHERS eyes!
    • Nothing better… vs. 10
      • How fair is your love my sister – my spouse!
      • How much better than wine is your love and the scent of your perfumes – than all spices!
      • When a marriage is done RIGHT – when God puts it together…
      • Solomon understood there was NOTHING better…
      • The LOVE [דּוֹד] of the Shulamite – who was both his SISTER [אָחוֹת] and BRIDE [כַּלָּה]
      • Was more intoxicating than WINE – more pleasant than the best PERFUMES or SPICES!
    • Promised Land… vs. 11
      • Your lips – O my spouse drip as the honeycomb. Honey and milk are under your tongue.
      • And the fragrance of your garments is like the fragrance of Lebanon!
      • Her lips were like the land of MILK and HONEY….
      • Being able to kiss her was BETTER than when Israel came to the PROMISED land…
      • Because when MARRIAGE is done Gods way – it is GOOD!
      • Proverbs 18:22 – “He who finds a wife finds good.”
      • Please do NOT miss the contrast – MARRIAGE is NOT always GOOD…
      • Because NOT everyone does it the RIGHT way…
      • Many follow the model of the WORLD – live together [make sure you are compatible]
      • But the FAILURE rate of marriage goes UP for those who live in SIN first…
      • Rather than a BLESSING – marriage can quickly become a CURSE…
      • Yet those who are willing to WAIT for the PLAN of God [purity] – I Thessalonians 4:3
      • Or those who maybe started WRONG – but turn to the God…
      • He can make marriage like the PROMISED land – the greatest blessing this side of heaven!

• 3^rd – The Exclusivity… vs. 4:12-5:1
  • 1^st – Closed garden… vs. 12
    • Virgin…
      • A garden enclosed is my sister – my spouse. A spring shut up. A fountain sealed!
      • Solomon described the Shulamite – his SISTER [אָחוֹת] and BRIDE [כַּלָּה]
      • As a LOCKED up garden – a CLOSED spring – a fountain that was SEALED…
      • Speaking of her virginity – she had NEVER known another man…
      • Because sex is meant to be between ONE man and ONE woman AFTER marriage!
      • Hebrews 13:4 – “Marriage is honorable among all – and the [marriage] bed undefiled.”
      • When marriage is done the way God intended – the wedding night is SPECIAL…
      • It becomes something neither has NEVER experienced before…
      • And it BONDS the husband and wife together in a POWERFUL way!
    • Marriage ceremony…
      • Hebrews 13:4 – “But fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”
      • FORNICATORS [πόρνος] – refers to ANY sexual act outside of MARRIAGE…
      • ADULTERERS – refers to having relationship with someone other than our SPOUSE…
      • Meaning ANY sexual activity outside of MARRIAGE is SIN!
      • I had someone once ask – is it necessary to have a WEDDING ceremony…
      • If two people love one another – is that not enough!
      • There is NO biblical format for HOW [tradition] a WEDDING ceremony should take place…
      • But it is VERY important to have a WEDDING – make a VOW before God and men…
      • It establishes a LIFELONG covenant between ONE man and ONE woman…
      • It is also required by the government – which we are to SUBMIT to – Romans 13:1 
    • Redemption…
      • The reality is that many of us have made MISTAKES…
      • Perhaps there were OTHER relationships before the marriage…
      • Or you are in a relationship – active – and NOT yet married!
      • Know that God is the God of NEW beginnings – II Corinthians 5:7
      • If we willing to CONFESS and REPENT [turn around] – He FORGIVES – I John 1:9
      • Whatever MISTAKES we have made in the past – NO longer define us…
      • But that does NOT mean we get to keep living in SIN – we need to STOP…
      • And instead CHOSE to follow the plan God made for MARRIAGE!
  • 2^nd – The best thing… vs. 13-15
    • Best taste… 13
      • Your plants are an orchard of pomegranates with pleasant fruits!
      • Solomon relates the JOY of intimacy – as overwhelming his senses in THREE ways…
      • TASTE – the Shulamite was better than the SWEETEST fruit!
      • If you ever get to go to Israel – it is worth trying the FRUIT [sweetest in the world]
      • In particular the pomegranates are amazing!
    • Best smell… vs. 13-14
      • Fragrant henna with spikenard – spikenard and saffron – calamus and cinnamon.
      • With all trees of frankincense – myrrh and aloes – with all the chief spices!
      • SMELL – she had a fragrance that was more amazing the most expensive perfume!
      • SPIKENARD – was what the Mary poured on Jesus before His crucifixion – John 12:3
      • FRANKINCENSE and MYRRH – were given as ROYAL gifts to Jesus – Matthew 2:11
      • Even today SAFFRON costs over FIVE hundred pesos per GRAM!
    • Best refreshment… vs. 15
      • A fountain of gardens. A well of living waters and streams from Lebanon!
        
      • THIRST – the Shulamite was more refreshing than a COLD mountain stream…
      • Like a river of LIVING [חַיִּים] water [מַיִם] that never ran dry!
      • There is a LIE the world tells us – that a MONOGAMOUS relationship is boring…
      • Having only ONE person our whole lives – is NOT the best!
      • But the truth is that God created us to be MOST satisfied with ONE person…
      • There is inevitable initial awkwardness when it comes to intimacy…
      • But the longer we are with a person – the more we get to know them…
      • Intimacy is NOT about a moment – it is about a LIFETIME of becoming ONE!
      • Proverbs 5:18-19 – “Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth… May you always be captivated by her love.”
  • 3^rd – The right time… vs. 16-1
    • The Bride… vs. 16
      • The Shulamite: Awake O north wind – and come O south!
      • Blow upon my garden that its spices may flow out.
      • Let my beloved come to his garden and eat its pleasant fruits!
      • The WORDS of Solomon worked – the Shulamite was also ready…
      • She commanded [imperative] the WINDS of change to blow…
      • It was time for them to become HUSBAND and WIFE – to become ONE…
      • She WANTED [jussive] Solomon to come into her garden…
      • She WANTED [jussive] him to eat of her fruit – and it would be GOOD [no guilt]!
    • The Groom… vs. 1
      • I have come to my garden – my sister – my spouse. I have gathered my myrrh with my spice.
      • I have eaten my honeycomb with my honey. I have drunk my wine with my milk.
      • Solomon also saw that is was GOOD – better than he had hoped…
      • The FRUIT – the SMELL – the Promised Land [milk and honey]
      • All of the imagery he has used had become a reality!
    • God… vs. 1
      • [The Lord] Eat O friends! Drink – yes – drink deeply O beloved ones!
      • There is some question to who is speaking here…
      • He [masculine] commands [imperative] the couple [second person plural] to EAT…
      • The best context would seem to point the LORD being the one who is speaking…
      • If that is the case [and I think it is] – it is worth noting He calls them FRIENDS [רֵעִים]
      • He BLESSES their MARRIAGE night – commanding them to DRINK [imperative] deeply…
      • CONDING their actions – even calling them [plural] BELOVED [דּוֹדִים]
      • Because they had waited and went about their marriage – the way He intended!
      • Sex is mean to be enjoyed – in MARRIAGE – it is a GIFT of God…
      • And when it is done His way – at the RIGHT time – He blesses it…
      • There is NO guilt – there is NO separation from Him [He calls us friends]
      • Instead it fulfills all THREE aspects that He intended for it…

It is FUN – it GLUES the couple together – and results in KIDS [fruitful]